Labour started with very irregular pains and tightenings over night, nothing more or less I hadn’t been feeling over the last 6 plus weeks. I noticed during the night peeing more, feeling uncomfortable and bits of my plug coming away over night.
Regular pains and tightenings started about 11am about 10-15 mins apart sometimes 5 mins. Was keeping my mind on the times but not specifically, I remember my sister messaging asking and I said no more than any other day maybe some more pressure today? I was cleaning and hanging washing, i wasn’t very hungry and feeling a bit sick in the tummy.
Contractions started to get more intense and 5 mins apart enough for me start to realise I was in labour. I handled them well with some throughout the day being too much and losing my focus a few times. I noticed I was far more emotional and sooky than I was with Henley. Chris had Henny most of the day, between supporting, talking me down and getting me things. Henny was so flipping cute and amazing the whole day. Coming in to talk to me (I was in our bedroom) check on me, tell me that Hennys here mum, it’s okay!, mummy very sore! Benny, my little nephew also coming in and out to play and see what was happening. My big sister checking if I needed anything too. I didn’t really speak about or say how the contractions were feeling because I wasn’t sure myself, similar to Hennys they were so different. There was a point where I broke down to Chris saying I can’t do It, I don’t want to do it anymore and I was so scared for each contraction and at the same time getting through each one, looking back I think this was my transition period and 8cm, but there was only me checking on things down there and I have no idea what I was looking for! So I noticed my mind slipping, I got up enough courage to move from my weird comfortable position on the floor to the shower to try out some contractions in there and calm down to see how I felt. Where they were a lot more painful and so much more pressure, I decided I need to go deeper into my mind and focus, so I did. Having contractions more silently and using my breathing, I was feeling very scared but strong at the same time, every contraction. I hopped out of the shower put my oils on and sat back on the bed where I was trying to relive some pressure pain in my arse, so much arse pain!
This is where I did a lot of silent work focussing, not sure how long, I lost track of time, Chris come in to check where I said how I was feeling. He said mum will be here soon. I said okay. At about 6pm, i was opened legged on the bed, having a contraction I felt my first urges to push, so I trusted and did where at the same time my waters popped (literally made a pop sound, I was impressed) and looked like a water balloon and splashed down on the edge of the bed and floor. I yelled out to Chris, babeeeeee, yeah, my waters just broke!, what wow, don’t worry and he started to clean them a little, Told me I was doing an amazing job (to which I’ve left out he was the whole time, he said later he knew I had it, never doubting me once).
When mum got there my sister was heading to the shops to got baby formula as well. My mum come in and asked how I was feeling, where I told her about my bum and that if I moved it was gonna explode or fall out not sure which one. She helped me through a few a contractions where she asked what I wanted to do, I’d done so much on my own at home it’s probably time to go, i said I couldn’t move and started to feel more unsettled the more she asked, they can check on baby we will get you comfortable again and have him, I just kept saying I can’t go or get up and no and that I was scared and didn’t know but I didn’t want to get up, mum said okay well Chris and I can decide for you baby and we will start by getting you up, she then said I’ll take Hennys to mum and then meet you there, something about this sentence unsettled me and I started crying and saying no no no no and I got up to try a contractions another way. And oh my goodness, the pressure and pain was so so so so different I turned to mum, sat in her lap and yelled at her to press down on my back, then all my noises changed and mum asked what tell me how you feel, baby tell me how you feel, where at this point questions took a longer time to sink in and for me to respond, I said he’s coming! Henny and Chris watching at the door, mum holding me, my roar unsettling and poor Henny Penny, I was pushing baby Marlow out! Right there, no time to walk anywhere near the hospital, he was coming. One contraction head, second contraction shoulders, third contraction placenta. The pain over took me where at this point I was very unsettled not breathing properly, in shock, but okay, still standing. My mum caught baby baby Marlow, who was on her chest and I couldn’t comprehend any of it, at the same time still feeling all the pain pushing out the placenta, no one caught ( which indeed left a murder like scene) I apparently swung my leg over mum and Marlows head (this part not as clear to me) and stared at them saying he’s here he’s here a millions over, I did it I did it I did it. Where I manage to twist the cord around his little ankle. Blood everywhere we decided to get me on the bed just in case. Get his ankle out. I had my baby on my chest, bloody towels everywhere, placenta on my tummy there too, in our bedroom, my first born watching the entire thing, daddy holding him and keeping him calm, and my mum supporting me. He’s here, he’s here. He cried and brung up fluid, he went pink, and he settled when he saw me, he was the most perfect little human in the world and he did the best job with his mama. We did it baby Marlow, you and I, together, you’re perfect. Better call the ambulance. They were to me there in like 2 seconds, everything felt so quick and I think it was. As he was born (estimate we forgot to look) 6:25pm 25 mins after my waters broke and in three contractions. The ambulance asked all the important questions, and rushed to see baby, he was healthy, we both were. “Boy or girl?” Boy we all answer.. but no one checked! So I did, yes a boy! We got checked, they cut his cord, I had a quick shower and baby Marlow had his first ride in an ambulance to which big brother was very jealous! Please note and add a lot of blood, poop, emotions, conversations, Hennys face and questions, two ambulance people a university student, a bloody (literally) happy nanny, a proud daddy multi tasking ...all in our bedroom. Everything was good at the hospital except for me needing internal stitches, it was the last thing I wanted done! And hurt so much to get the needle to numb. Settling in for a night in hospital, this story replaying over, and over in my head, so surreal, it still doesn’t feel like mine, I was a mother again, a mother to two beautiful perfect boys. I never saw life this way, I can never or could never imagine this or feeling this way, but here I am, a mother, I’m a mother and we did it.
Marlow Jude Stanford 13 September 2018